Rebuilding my core

I have gone through a large spiritual journey in this past year and I want people to understand it. For I think it can help other people get better.

Here is the main point I want to get across. Our spirit is what holds our body together. I believe spirit/ soul is the energy we were born with and is what drives life, without it we would be dead and would fall apart. Have you ever felt hurt emotionally? Like a break up, or people saying bad things about you? Well if you believe the lies, and are not grounded in your true self, your spirit will be damaged. And a damaged spirit is the cause of all illness and depression. 

Now, here is the sad part. Our spirit has been extremely damaged unknowingly by these immunosuppressants/ steroids. Our symptoms have been covered up and masked by a false medical power.

Imagine our spirit as an apple seed. It has a set of instructions, almost supernatural instructions for it to grow into a tree. The plant starts growing naturally at a young age, then a doctor comes along and says, hum this tree has some issues and should be growing stronger. So they give it a support beam to help it grow. The support beam helps for a little while until the tree starts wilting again under its own weight again. Doctor says, we need another support beam. This keeps continuing until the apple tree reaches full maturity.  

We are the apple tree that has been given too many unnatural support beams (steroids) and can no longer stand on our own. We are no doubt going to fall and break when we take the beams off. And sadly the creams and doctors are not going to be there to help us. Their interests lie elsewhere. Short term fixes and the need for money has blinded them. But the cool part about nature is we may break at the core/ trunk, but over time we can grow back to the image that God has created us to be. Although for this to occur it takes forgiveness. We have been damaged badly, we are angry and we want to hold someone responsible. Sadly we beat ourselves up over this. You can learn to let go though. It takes faith not in someone else, not in another drug, but someone who has been there the whole time. You, and the power of your heart. Don't let the past hold you down, for it is over and done with. Let go and rebuild your natural core again.

For myself, I still have a lot of growing to do, for I have been broken at the trunk and stripped of everything I had and the fruit I used to bear. But my spirit is growing stronger everyday, and cannot be shaken or disrupted by others or physical obstacles. I am growing into a more beautiful tree in the image God has created me to be. One that I feel will produce some of the best fruit on this planet given time to heal.

Tomorrow marks my 1 year. I will be putting a bunch of images together to show the amazing progress I have made :)

I also want to note, the Bible is a powerful book if you read it with the correct context in mind. I am not really religious but while I was down in the gutter I just gave it a read. You almost have to go through suffering for it to really speak to you. Jesus was an amazing teacher and understood people in the image of God perfectly. His messages helped.

Coming back from hell :) yeah

Almost 11 months in and hitting a major healing period, to where there is almost no red skin! And I haven’t used any moisturizer or cream what so ever on my skin for the last 2 months. It is still a little dry and red in places but nothing compared to 2 months in. I still think I might get another flare, but I am hoping for the best!

Things that seem to have helped in order:
1. Time.
2. Stopping all work and stress related activities to take time and let the body heal.
3. Time
4. Realization that my spirit has been badly damaged and there is a greater God that can guide you through this.
5. Time
6. Marijuana - especially heavy doses of editable once a week (100mg THC). Gives a knew perception on the damage done and how to heal. 
7.Time
8.No other Drugs - The last couple months I have not use any drug or cream or pill whatsoever. I believed this helped greatly, even though at times I suffered greatly. I would use only Marijuana to calm me down.
9. Acupuncture: I have been smoking Marijuana and going to get acupuncture every other day. For some reason this seems to be really helpful. It feels like the inflammation just drains from the body after a 1hr acupuncture session. And my sleep has returned greatly which is the biggest help of all.

10. Support and great understanding from loves one. The trip through hell is not easy to say the least…

Quick update

Things have been pretty consistant for the past 3 to 4 months. I still constantly flare and shed every 3 days. The trouble spots are the spots that constantly flare. They are my stomach, back, between my knees and arms. Although the inflamation is definitly reducing, its still there In the same location but less red as the months progress. Some people cant even notice the redness in my skin lately, which is great. Its been a bit painful because the nerves are returning. But the marijuna does a great job reducing that pain! Which is a godsent. I will take a puff and I am so much more relaxed. Anyways, I have a million pictures of my progress but I want to wait till I am near healed to post them. I think I will be fully healed in 1 year and 6 months. I am 10 months in now ;) More the half way :)

Medical Marijuana

This is a sketchy topic to discuss but I feel the need to share my experience so far. Please don’t view me as a "pot head" because I am far from it.  I personally think there is something amazing about marijuana. I believe it truly is a miracle plant. And here is why. 

First of all, do a YouTube search, "Marijuana cures" and you will be bombarded with people stories of how cannabis has cured all sorts of diseases, especially cancer. It’s a tragedy that or government is making research so hard because it is illegal. I think the drug companies in power are stopping research from being done because the legalization of marijuana would cripple their business. For sure. 

Anyways, let’s talk about my experience. I was introduced to cannabis when my younger brother offered me a pot cookie he got from his friend. With my knowlege of canabis now, there was probably around 50 to 100 mg of THC in that cookie. A normal dose is 10mg. This was 4 months ago and I would try anything to relive the pain. So I ate it. Not much happened in the first 30 min - so with the limited knowledge about editable I decided to eat more... and 15 min later I was stoned! I mean really stoned. I was not expecting the body high that I got. I couldn't talk or even think clearly. And to be honest I was freaking out. I was Paranoid! And now looking back I know exactly why I felt Paranoid. 

Here is what I thing marijuana does. When ingesting marijuana your body processes it way different then smoking it. It converts the THC to other compounds that induce a stronger high, and the high can be 4 times stronger the smoking it. But it is this high where the healing can begin. Let me explain...

Besides taking pain away (which it does greatly), I think marijuana is literally a time machine for your mind. Yeah now I sound crazy haha. For me personally (each person is different) when I eat a pot cookie alone (alone is different than with people around, trust me) I start analyzing my life. I go back and look at my childhood experiences and memories and see how they made me the person I am today. It’s like the marijuana slows down your brain frequency and like tuning into a different channel, you tune into a different perspectives on your life. You can make connections you wouldn’t normally notice. Things like houses, people, places all have a history and feeling associated with them. When I had the cookie at my parents house I could literally hear voices from the past and memories would flash before my eyes. At certain times I wanted to cry. Not until you eat the marijuana you can start picking up those frequencies. For me, the first couple times eating the cookies I felt anxious and afraid. This is because my subconcious was opening up and exposing so much information to me that I didn’t know how to handle it. My brain and emotions were overloaded.

It is meditation on these profound thoughts and truths that enable the healing. You can clearly see where and why the sickness is occurring. Where you went wrong. I can tell that my body will take a long time to recover but I can also see the path. I can see how bad I screwed by body up :( I wrote the other day while high this: "The creams made my skin look healthy but my truth was burried. The sickness and longing my spirit would weep through the skin. When I was two months in and looked like hell. That what my spirit looked like underneath my skin-- puke, that is so disgusting, why i would do that too myself."

It is a clear understanding like this that you begin to fully understand. You begin to understand who you are and how we are so tightly intertwined with nature and the energies around us. The artificial creams blocked that perspective and made me sick.

I feel the inflamed skin cells moving up and out of my body now. It is a very very slow process. But I see it and understand it now. Give me another year and I will be a totally renewed person.

 Let me note I sometimes smoke it now but it gives me bad asthma sometimes, so I will continue to eat it. Smoking it is way lighter on a high. Every person experienced eating marijuana/ editable different. And if the edible has butter in it, the high will be stronger because of the way it fuses with the fat proteins. But for me it seems to be helping. What I have been doing is like have 2 days out of the week to "medicate” myself, then take a couple days to analyze my experience and how my body is changing. 

Marijana also exposed to me how f'd up our society is. Living in corporate America you can see how businesses and cooperations choose profits over the well being of others. Not all businesses are bad but there is a lot of greed going around these days. It will be this greed that tests America to its limit, and if the people are not carfull and fight for their freedoms it could overtake the world. 

Anyways, leave any comments or questions below!

Also watch this video (ignore the first min or so where they talk about the bodies haha), there is a place in this video where Joe Rogan perfectly describes the power of editable!  http://youtu.be/TuH5We_WEQo

Amost 5 months!!

So I havent updated my blog in a while mostly because I just wanted to unplug myself and really focus on healing. And healing is what I have done :) I would say I am a little more the 50% through this and the worst has passed!! I am starting to see large improvments even though I still flare a little every other day. I can tell about 50% of my body still has the inflamation in the cells. But that is much better then 95% of my cells being enflammed. And more then 75% of the day the cells show no inflamation, not untill I disturb my skin with a shower or excercise is when I see it. 

I want to re-enforce that getting here was a nightmare that I had to settle with. I lost a lot and my life took a 180 down hill. I lost my job, I lost friends, I lost my girlfriend, I lost money and probably my ego too haha. But what I have gained??!!! Alot! Extreme enlightment is what I have gained. I feel I am closer to my family. I have got to spend a lot of time with my mom, and dad which I am greatful for! I have gained gratitude toward those willing to help me :) I feel loved, and see how important this is in life. Before I felt I was blind, living a fake and somewhat materialistic life that the cortisones provided. I was not facing reality. Now I know why I had to go through this journy. Who knows what I would have become without this experience. 

I still have a long way to go. I feel the 1 year mark I will be near completly healed. But I am healing fast now! I have been able to play soccer and tennis! I have been going to the gym! I am regaing strength and getting intouch with who I really am and the real person under all the false medications I had lived under. 

I have been taking photos of myself. I will post them all when I am healed... But here is a before and after. 

Before (2 month in): 

After: (4 and 1/2 months in) 

End of Month 2 into Month 3

So I have been going through this day by day and glad to say I am almost at the 60 day mark. 60 days is a long time but to me it feels like an eternity. I am not going to lie, this has not been easy. My condition has kept me indoors which really starts to put a toll on the psyche. I really miss being able to go out and drink and just have a good time with friends. I wish I could go to work and have the energy I used to have. I wish I could snowboard and play soccer. I wish I didn't look like shit! But yet I remain optomistic. I know my life will have to change during this experience,  wether I like it ir not, and I am just going to have to get used to that! 

Now to be optomistic I have noticed good improvments :) My legs are no longer swollen, My skin is sweating and shedding way less. I seem to shed every 3 days now instead of twice a day. My skin will turn red, dry and tight then the next day will start to fall off and peel. Each time the skin seems to be a little better. Although at the moment I am in a pretty bad flare :( But after the shedding I am sure I will get a little break again. 

I am trying to meditate and pray a lot. To keep my spirit strong and optomistic. This involves relaxing and trying to free my brain of negative thoughts and contant business. I replace it with a glowing light that penitrates and relaxes my body and mind. If I am lucky I will get an hour or two of scratchless sleep. Which is huge! 

So how about some pics? 

47 days in:

58 days in: 

47 days in: 

58 days in: 

Month 2 - Welcome to Hell!

So my last post in December was pretty optimistic, little did I know I was just on the verge of entering the gates of Hell! Wow these last 2 to 3 weeks have tested my humaity to the core. Infact I think at one point I was close to dying... let me explain!

So things took a turn for the worst right after the 1st of January. Before, I was able to make it through the day, and was going to work. And for New Years I went to a party... it was a little uncomfortable but managable. But after, within the first week of January my skin turned red, full body bright red! Red sleeves and everything. This my friends IS NOT ECZEMA... this is a completly different beast. My skin was on fire! This is Topical Steroid Withdraw. This is what it feel like to rid your body of poison you have been applying your whole life. It took a month to hit my body and it arrived like a brick wall. Let the detox begin...

It was around Jan 9th when I woke up in the morning, looked absolutly terrible and decided to hop in the shower! Bad move! The mixture of pain, my adrinals all messed up, not eating breakfast, and the heat almost caused me to blackout. No one was was home so I just hopped out of the bathroom, cralled to my phone and called 911. I nearly lost conciouness while I waited for them. Luckly they gave me some  food and I was fine. My blood pressure had dropped to a dangerous level. Of course I had to try and describe topical steroid to them which was hard but they were a little understandable. 

So basically for the last couple weeks my skin has been hell and sheading relentlesly! I wake up in the morning and look like a zombie with skin falling off everywhere. Oozing like freaking crazy. I wake up completely wet with ooze. And the grity skin falling off on top of the ooze is extreamly nasty. Very hard to sleep. Luckly I went to the doctor and got hydroxisine, which is an anti histamine to help sleep and calm the itching. I take some around 12pm, wake up around 3am or 4am all sweaty and then go soak in the bath till 8am. Yeah! 4 hours in the tub, but its the only place I can get some good rest! I havent been to work for the last week. Just told them I am taking medical leave... Anyways, this is really testing my physical strength, have resorted to prayer, faith and hope. My parents have been coming over to help and my roommate is making me meals! Having a care tender is important as I have learned I cant manage this all my self! Cant thank the people in my life who are helping through. They are a God sent! Tierd, going to bed now. More later.